Love as a Process

Flower plant in my yard at night with the moonSpring is out, flowers in bloom, birds are chirping.

Allergies.  Bugs.

Chickflick weather.

Love is in the air and new couples are enjoying each other’s company.  Bleh.  I know.  I’m more of an epic war movie fan.

But I guess love isn’t so bad in real life.  I suppose it’s better than getting your arm chopped off by an orcblade.

At one time I thought love was more like fuzzy feelings.  Well, okay it partly is, but it’s so much more.  It’s a process.  A hard process.  The real truth is relationships are a lot of work.  I think we could make a message out of each one of the attributes in 1 Cor 13.  I mean if we got revelation of this passage and followed these verses literally, the counselors might be out of a job.  So much time is spend pouring into self-help books about relationships and yet it’s right here.  A really important attribute is verse 5 which says it is not self-seeking.

A couple in front of the Central Seattle Public LibrarySometimes we complicate things that are very simple.  The problem with many relationships is people want an exchange.  They give something of value in order to get something.  Sometimes they want sex or control.  Other times it’s less obvious things like self-worth or attention.  I suppose the exchange can be partly love, but not the whole thing.

My girl means the world to me and I told her I’m in this to give, not to get.  I’m not totally there yet, but I’m working on it.  This is the ideal we should all strive for.  And it’s something only God can do in us, because we’re inherently selfish.

Derek Sivers, the founder of CDBaby once said, “Give give give, and sometimes you will receive.”  Giving freely can apply to business, friendship, family relations, and even just meeting people.  Ask the question, “What can I do for them?”, not “What can they do for me?”

Look at all the church problems we could avoid by changing our mindsets.  People are church-hopping to find the perfect church for them instead of finding ways to give.  And sometimes the ones that stay have an agenda to control or be up front or whatever.

It’s affecting even our relationship with God.  We come to God with an exchange mentality.  We can strive so hard to please Him and get acceptance.  And when we fail, because we’re human, we crash.  Yeah okay, maybe we say we believe in grace, but underlying attitudes don’t always line up fully.  Getting a revelation of grace is a lifelong process.  Sometimes it’s almost harder than works.  As weird as it, it can almost be frustrating when God just loves on you in your weakness instead of beating you.

Religious forms aren’t so much how you dress or what kind of music you play.  Whether in contemporary or traditional settings, it’s an attitude that you need to do this or this or be a certain way to be accepted by others.  It’s not said directly, but it sometimes feels that way.  It’s those things we might feel, but can’t quite put a finger on.

We struggle with the question, “What can we do for God in exchange for what can He do for us?”  It doesn’t work that way.  Worship is freely given.  And you will never, ever be able to repay His grace.

Time for a radical comfort challenge.  The one we have to take on every day.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Category: Relationships, Spiritual Thoughts, Worship |

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