When God is Silent

Crown Point looking over the Columbia RiverMe: Lord, I come to You and worship You… So um…how’s it going?

God: …

Me: Well, yeah…okay…uh…(puts on worship music, bobbing around singing along)

God: …

Me: So um…yeah, that’s some great music there.  You’re awesome and worthy …Oh yeah, sorry about that thing again…  I hate it when I mess up…

Me: (bobs head nonchalantly and looks around the room)…so…Quite the weather, huh.  Pretty gray…(taps fingers)  Oh You know what, I just remembered something, I have to do my laundry.  brb…

Did this hit home too much?  Painful to read, huh?  Questioning God in life.  Why would He let this or that happen?  Why do I not feel His love anymore?  Why did I feel abandoned in time of need?  Why does He allow such injustices to go on in the world?  Am I even saved?

There are times when I’ve wanted to run, but for some reason He won’t let me, or maybe I just didn’t want to make the choice bad enough to leave.  I’d even try sinning, but that didn’t seem to work.  Fortunately sometimes there’s just enough light at the end of the tunnel to keep us on track.

So if you’re going through that one of those times, it’s totally normal.  I might not know your pain, but I’ve been through my own stuff, let’s not compare. The spiritual principles can be similar though.  It’s been called “the wilderness”, “the dark night.”, a “dry season.”  And in a nutshell, when you go through it, it just sucks.

Why?  I don’t know all the answers in your case.  But I have learned a few things.  For one it’s preparation for ministry.  Not necessarily the pulpit, but your particular calling.  Yeah, but, but so and so with a megachurch didn’t go through this… Guys, that’s not for you to worry about.  Stop comparing, you’re unique and so God has something unique for you.

We also get toughened, Scripture calls it “refining”.  The marines say pain is weakness leaving the body.  Does that include traumatic injustices?  Or seasons so bad your prayer life looks more like a fetal position than a kneeling posture?  Look, I’m not going to claim I know all the reasons or that God was behind everything that happened.  I can only share basic principles that might help others in the testing.

During these times, we start to understand God in a new way.  We aren’t dependent on experiences anymore.  Cynicism might take hold.  Sins take hold.  Bitterness of soul.  What?!  Are you serious?  What kind of good Christian acts like that?  You’ll start to get this eventually.  God doesn’t care how “good” you are or were.  And you’ll be surprised at how mature you become, when you rely on His grace.  And during this time believe it or not you’re shielded from the enemy.  Like a cocoon so to speak.

One year, our worship team to a trip to a prayer center.  I was going through some things and wasn’t really into it, but for whatever reason I bought a ticket.  So when we got there, I just sat there thinking, “whatever…”  So I sat in the room for a while soaking in the music kind of in a daze, half praying, half cynical about it.  So then an hour goes by…then another hour, “Yeah, okay.  Whatever.”  Eventually it’s around 2 in the morning…  I don’t get it either, for some reason God seems to enjoy “whatever” prayers sometimes.

I remember seeing the movie Ray where he went blind as a kid.  There’s a scene where he fell down and cried, “Mommy!”, when all could see was utter darkness and all he could hear was silence.  But his mom was standing there watching while he picked himself up and fumbled his way around the room.  She had to not step in, in order that he could learn to make his way in the world.  She was there all along, though he thought he was alone.  That’s a picture that helps me understand it.

I think Jesus might have gone through this silence when He cried out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”

During this time, hang out in Psalms and Song of Solomon.  Huh?  Isn’t that the steamy, sexy book in the Bible?  Yep.  But that’s not the whole thing.  There’s a time when she’s beat up and looking for her Lover.  It has a happy ending though.  But hey, work through it.  God put it there for a reason, and so you get to study that for your life.

Hopefully this’ll help you guys a bit.  Keep at it.  Like the song from David Crowder Band, “Rescue is Coming.”

Category: Faith, Spiritual Thoughts | Tags: , , |

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